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We've got a whole stack of articles, fun facts and miscellaneous content about coffee and couldn't decide where to put it on the site. So this is where it will end up. Check back here for newsletter archives, interesting coffee articles and other tidbits that don't have a home.

My Cubicle

(Sung to the tune of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful")

A funny take on James Blunt's song "You're Beautiful". This is an anthem for everyone and anyone who works in a cubicle. Enjoy the Karaoke-style onscreen lyrics and sing along with your next cup of coffee...

Vending Machine Cuisine

If you work in a cubicle, odds are good that your company's idea of fine dining involves loose change. Until they decide to make a personal chef part of your incentive bonus plan, here are some tips about vending machine food and office coffee that might help you out.

Best Bets: Baked Goods

Anything that faintly resembles a baked good or pastry will go very well with just about any type of coffee. Our personal preference is the 'Giant' Bear Claw (give it 25 seconds in the office microwave to bring it back to life). The sweet almond paste filling and sugary icing balance well with a lively South American coffee like Columbian Supremo that can cut through the heaviness. For the more earthy Indonesian and African coffees, the best item we found was the mini pack of Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies. They're baked until nearly all moisture is gone (and probably chock full of preservatives too), which makes them ideal for dunking in hot coffee. Finally, you can't go wrong with chocolate. Coffee will raise the temperature in your mouth, which causes chocolate to melt as soon as it touches your tongue and helps release the flavor and texture.

The Middle Ground: Fruity and Salty

Most fruity snacks like Red Vines licorice, Starbust Fruit Chews and Skittles seem to go with lighter roasts and mild blends like Starbucks Organic Shade Grown Mexico. The fruit in the candy does bring out the fruit in the coffee, but still not quite as ideal as a blueberry muffin. We didn't really care for fruity snacks with darker, bolder coffee like French Roast. As for salty snacks like potato chips, it's a 50/50 shot. Personally, eating salty chips with the first morning cup just didn't do it, but it might work better in the afternoon.

What to Avoid

First off, stay away from anything minty. Junior Mints, York Peppermint Patties or any kind of chewing gum. Mint is a very strong flavor that will throw off your taste buds and truly ruin a good cup of coffee. A similar effect can be caused by spicy foods. Fiery Corn Nuts, Jalapeno Nacho Chips, FLAMIN' HOT FRITOS® and other spicy snacks seem to overwhelm the tongue and interfere with coffee. But for some reason, frozen microwaveable burritos seem fine. Must be all the fat content overriding the chili.

Got any personal favorite combinations of your own? Had any truly bad vending machine experiences? Tell us about them, so we can warn the rest of the Cubicle Coffee Community.

I Think I Know Who Moved My Cheese...

I had a very scary dream last night. Might have been too many cups of coffee, but for some reason I found myself racing through the corporate hallways, trying desperately to find my workspace before a timer ran out and I got a nasty electric shock. Everywhere I looked, I saw grey cubicle walls. I popped my head over one wall in true corporate "prarie dog" fashion, but as far as my eyes could see there were more cubicles. Just as I was about to give up hope, I turned the corner and saw this:

Ok, maybe it was just a dream. But haven't you wondered somedays if a big piece of corporate cheese is waiting in an empty cubicle just around the corner from your office?

By the way, if you'd be interested in purchasing a huge wedge of fake joke "cheese" like this one for your office, please email and let us know. We've never seen one, but there must be some out there. If not, we can probably find a manufacturer in China to produce a few.

Can You Find the Man in the Coffee Bean Picture?

This is really bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you think, "why didn't I see him immediately"?

• If you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people.
• If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is average and you need another cup of coffee to compensate.
• If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you really need to drink more coffee.
• If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, you should do more exercises like this to make the right half of your brain stronger, and yes, the man is really there!

September 19th -- International Talk Like A Pirate Day

That's right mateys, Sep. 19 was once again Talk Like a Pirate Day. It's juvenille, it's silly, but it takes some of the drudgery out of everyday office life. Hope you had a chance to drag out yer best pirate jokes and pillage through the cubes.

Here are a couple of our favorite Pirate jokes:

1. A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender turns to him and says "Hey buddy, did you know you've got a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" The pirate scowls at him and replies "AYE, it's driving me nuts!"

2. What is a pirate's favorite restaurant? ARRRRRBY's

Got any more? Please send them along to us. Or to find out more, visit the official International Talk Like A Pirate Day website.

Why I’ll Never Move to Germany

Editor's Note: One of our readers (thanks to Peter in Germany) had the following comments after reading our article:

"Well, I am an American and I've lived in Germany for nearly 15 years and I really cannot understand why you think that German coffee is bad. In fact, I can tell you that German coffee is one of the world's finest and best (but also the coffee in Italy, France, Netherlands, etc). Maybe, you had some bad luck -- I really don't miss the American crap coffee from Folgers, Maxwell's, Star*ucks nor other lousy watery American-style "coffee"...Again, you should try good German coffee brands like Idee Kaffee, Dallmayr, Jacobs or others. I am glad that I no longer live in the U.S. where coffee has no taste, no flavor and no real smell. Totally different over here in Europe - and, Germany's coffee still is one of the world's best. "

"Sincerely -- Peter"

Thanks for the suggestions, Peter. We'll try those brands on our next visit and report back.

Original Article Follows (in case you missed it):

The company I work for has offices in Frankfurt, Germany. Every once in a while, I get the opportunity to visit these offices for one reason or another. Recently, I headed there for some training and, as luck would have it, I had a little time to see some of the sights and take in this European metropolis.

After a grueling 11 hour trip in coach, (nope, cubicle-dwellers are not entitled to business class -- that would be too roomy and paradigm-shifting), I exit the airport and hail a taxi. I ease myself into the Mercedes-Benz sedan and think, "I could get used to this." I glance at the speedometer as we hit the autobahn: 160 Km per Hour!? And I thought American taxi drivers were crazy. Of course, as many of you know, the autobahn has no speed limit, but it's one thing to hear about it and quite another to be passed by a Volkswagen van at 140 MPH. I think to myself "If I lived here, I could drive as fast as I wanted and I’d never have to watch out for speed traps. Maybe I should look into a promotion with the parent company that would get me transferred over here.”

Later that day, I venture out into the streets and walk right into a local farmers’ market! Very cool. Lacking even the most basic German vocabulary, I use my pointing skills to order some bratwurst. It is the best I’ve ever tasted and it’s right out of a tent. To wash it down, I try some beer from the tent next door and, as expected, it is a delightful quaff! (I think for a split second about starting cubiclebeer.com, then decide it’s not worth the lawsuits). Good food, good beer, good traffic laws; maybe Germany wouldn’t be a bad place to live.

Of course , the true test of Germany’s ability to support civilized life remains. I stop by a street side café to try some of the local Java. The 1 Euro price is about the same as coffee in the U.S. I take my first sip with anticipation: Bleeeeeggghhhh! This stuff is really bitter! I assume that’s what I get for choosing a coffee vendor at random; certainly there must be nearby places with better coffee.

The next day, after a company-funded dinner at a fancy restaurant whose name I will never be able to pronounce, I opt for an après-dinner cup of Joe to help me wash down the delicious schnitzel and potatoes. I hope this cup will be more palatable than the street side cafe. Since I am a fan of all fried foods and any country that promotes them, I am still considering a move to the beautiful Deutschland Republic. Besides, it’s only a one-hour flight away from Italy, England, Spain and Amsterdam! All I need is a decent cup of coffee to seal the deal.

My after-dinner cup finally arrives. I let it cool a few minutes to avoid burning my tongue. The first sip? Bitter again! Granted, not quite as undrinkable as the cafe’s version, but that’s like saying that you would prefer being shot to death instead of drowning. My search for a good cup of coffee in Germany continued.

The next day, we visit Wiesbaden, a beautiful city near Frankfurt, full of old buildings and lots of shopping. As I pick up a couple of souvenirs for the family I see it! The double tailed mermaid in green. The international symbol of good commercial coffee: der Starbucks! I happily walk over to this oasis of brew (I have now spent three days without a decent cup of coffee); the sign says they’re brewing Christmas Blend, one of my Starbucks favorites. In my best German I order "ein Grande Kaffee, bitte." The cup is priced comparatively with the U.S. at about 2.5 Euros. Here it is, the defining moment, the point at which I commit myself to enrolling in a German Language class and learning to enjoy to polka music . . .

As they say in baseball: "Three strikes and you’re out." If Starbucks can’t get it right there, I will never move to Germany. Maybe my company will send me to Italy . . . stay tuned!

Not a bad idea...

Cubicle Coffee at Home?

So, I get up on Saturday morning after a long week at the office. I head downstairs and curse at myself for not wearing my slippers as I step on the cold kitchen tile. I stare at my $100+ drip coffee maker; you know the one, the hip, stainless steel machine that’s on TV sitcoms and in the Sharper Image catalog. The department store brand featuring charcoal-filtered water and designer trim. This one is actually worth the $100+ I paid for it. It makes decent coffee and, when I remember to set the timer, has the coffee ready when I wake up in the morning.

This Saturday, however, I notice the French press on the counter that I’ve brought home from the office for its bi-weekly cleaning (which it gets only every few months). I think to myself, “Why not? Just because I’m not staring blankly at a computer monitor doesn’t mean I can’t make Cubicle Coffee.” And, I just happen to have one of those hot-water spigots installed on my sink. I can't resist. I set the burr grinder to “coarse” (very important!), select eight cups and hit the start button (If you don’t have a grinder at home, I highly recommend it. It’s one of the best things you can do to improve your morning coffee.). I empty the grounds into the French press and add the steaming hot water. Four minutes later, "Voila!" Fresh-brewed Cubicle Coffee -- without the cubicle, thankfully.

Now, I don't just have a good cup of coffee from my oh-so-cool metal machine; I have a magnificent, rich cup of coffee with flavor the way the coffee gods intended.

Of course, by now you probably know why we recommend Cubicle Coffee at the office: you don’t need electrical plugs, no hot plates, it’s easy to clean and store. But let’s not forget the main reason for brewing Cubicle Coffee: It just tastes better! Will I switch permanently from the drip machine? Maybe. Then again, no one has yet invented an automatic timer for a French press . . .

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